You used to say goodnight
With a softness in your voice
Now you simply fall asleep
I used to enjoy every moment
Spent in your proximity
Now I look forward to time alone
We used to be a pair
Equal shares of life together
Now we’re simply spare parts
The disturbingly distant
I’ve always been a heavy drinker. I drink because i love meeting new people. I like my hands working under the table holding and rubbing what’s inside their pants. I like kissing in the washroom. Scouting is so much thrill to me. I like when they mash my boobs with my jacket to cover it. I like staring at them and they stare back with a sexy face. I totally love having sex with strangers. I don’t really mind if i don’t even get their names.
Until i met G. He’s a typical guy working as a call center representative. He’s not a head-turner nor panty-dropper. But he’s got this extra something that made me notice him. He asked me about my ring. And that’s where our short-term fairytale started.
We went on our first date. Of course it was me who asked him because he seem like a nerd. Haha. But that was proly the reason why he got me very interested towards him. I wanna know how nerdy persons turn into monsters in bed. LOL
On our second date, he asked me to come to his house. He and his Mom prepared something for me for dinner. He asked me to stay over night. I was thinking his mom wouldnt like it but I stayed anyway. Our conversation become nasty. Then he touch my back. He was trembling badly. He said he was ambivalent. Oh i forgot, he’s a psych major! All of a sudden i was the one who’s shaking. That very moment i swear i would exchange anything for beer! I need alcohol cause i dont really know what to do when im sober. I had difficulty in breathing and that’s when he stopped. That night ended with a kiss.
We went on our third date, fourth, fifth .. We became like fuck buddies except that he wouldnt penetrate me. However he helped me do it without being drunk. He wouldnt allow me even for just one bottle before i suck him. He said that it is best experienced when sober. Because all your senses can feel. Basically it run for three months.
Then i woke up one day realizing that he’s being unfair. And that’s not what i want. I want a relationship with intimacy, passion and commitment. And he can’t give it to me. Left a message on my email then gone. :’(
